Fitzgerald attempts autobiography

“Shame about the Benadryl.  I love me the Benadryl, and Jason was also pretty cool.”

Fitzgerald attempts film criticism

“Or, as I like to call it, ‘The Fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.’”

Fitzgerald attempts to cook

“…I wish there existed a word somewhere between ‘soured’ and ‘dead.’”